


been talking about the way things change.

by commonemergency



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Moving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 21:56:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13467375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commonemergency/pseuds/commonemergency
Summary: “Just you, me, the boxes, and beanbag.” Phil said with a kind of hope in his voice, it reminded Dan of the first time they brought up moving to London.Or Dan and Phil move to London, and it's the hottest day of the year.





	been talking about the way things change.

**Author's Note:**

> writer's block has been kicking my ass, but i was rereading tabinof and there's a part about the london flat (that made me really miss it) but also a line that Phil said: _"all we had was boxes and a beanbag."_
> 
> so, this happened.

It’s hot. _Too hot_ , if you were to ask Dan. They’ve been laying on the floor of their bathroom with no shirts on and just their pants. The sun was setting and it was getting darker. They hadn’t spoken a word, just listening to the sound of their new neighbours below and next to them. _A dog_ , Dan thought hearing the padding against the wood and a faint bark. It’s enough to make Phil laugh. 

“We decided to move at the worst possible time.” Phil says quietly. Whenever they do speak it’s in hushed tones, like they were guests in someone else’s house but this belonged to them. Dan has to move, the coolness that he once felt is uncomfortable, it’s too warm now. He moves his body just a little bit to the right, and the feeling of the cool tile feels so good for a second, and he knows that it’ll be gone again. 

“We need to eat.” Phil sighs and his stomach growls in agreement. They had done a lot of furniture building today. There were a lot of arguments because they fucked up a couple of times trying to put the pieces together and it just wasn’t working, _and it was too hot_.

“We need to eat.” Dan repeats, placing a hand on his own stomach. His hands are sweaty and he can’t wait to take a cold shower later, although their towels are packed away in a box that he can’t remember because they were dumbasses who gave up labelling half way into it. 

Dan is the first one to get up, grabbing his shirt off the counter and he holds a hand out for Phil who reaches over for his t-shirt. It probably sticks, and he doesn’t want to put jeans on because it’ll feel uncomfortable. They both look at each other and understand what the other is feeling. The heat is making them delusional. Dan feels shaky and there’s something heavy laying on his chest and he doesn’t understand it, doesn’t get what it means or why he feels this way but he does. 

Dan feels his wallet in his front pocket and he looks at his phone battery. _They’ll be fine_ , he thinks. 

“What do you feel like eating?” Phil asks, he’s fumbling with his keys, Dan is staring at their next door neighbour’s door that’s exactly across from them. He wonders what they’re like and if they’ll ever run into them. Probably. He bites down on his tongue and forgets that Phil even asked a question. He can’t think properly, the heat has turned his brain into mush. They’re not even outside yet and he can feel the heat sticking to his body. 

It’s dark now, there’s an ambulance that glides across the traffic of cars up and down their road, if people were smart enough they’d stay inside. Dan misses the familiarity of Manchester, because they’d know which direction to go, they had three favourite spots to eat and the fact that they’ll have to learn new places is unsettling. London was alive and had so many depths and secrets that they had yet to explore, it was a challenge, and while he was excited, it was scary. 

“I--I don’t know.” Dan doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he holds his phone and his fingers brush over where his wallet sits in his right pocket. “I guess we should have figured that out before we started walking.” Dan says with a small smile, but it fades. 

Dan takes note of every bus stop, and looks for the Tube entrances; when they were trying to find a place to live they bought oyster cards and used them a lot because they had gotten lost. Dan likes the way the bus feels, he tries to forget the many people who have sat in the same spot, but focuses on the fact that thousands of people have gotten on the same bus numerous times in the day and each one different from the last, with different stories, but they had one common factor, and that was London. 

“There’s a Thai place that’s near,” Phil had been scrolling for places to eat, Dan had been trapped in his thoughts. He looked down at the phone, their faces close to each other and he could smell the sweat, and soap that Phil used in his hair, both oddly comforting smells to him. 

“Let’s do it.” Dan couldn’t be bothered to scroll through hundreds of options when it was just down the street. 

Phil had gotten them lost before in London, while Dan was pretty good at getting acquainted to new places Phil had a terrible sense of direction and it led to Dan tugging him along in a crowd of people, to sometimes him power walking and forgetting that Phil couldn’t always keep up. He just assumed that he’d always be there behind him. 

When they walk through the doors the bell rings and there’s another couple here and they briefly make eye contact and Dan looks away to see the waiter grabbing two menus and directing them towards an empty. There’s instant relief in this restaurant. The cool air directly above them, Dan just wanted to lay here for a while, he could spend the rest of his days here and be quite all right. When he looked at Phil he figured he felt the same way. 

Two glasses of water were placed on the table and Dan had drank the whole thing in one sitting. Their waiter had commented on the heat and Dan had chuckled softly, agreeing that it was too hot, and that it _should_ be cooling down by now. 

Dan takes his time looking at the menu while Phil orders something that he’s familiar with. Dan is tempted to do the same but it’s like London was testing him in every way, pushing him out of his comfort zone to try and broaden his horizons. _At least_ , he thinks, _their horizon wasn’t a prison._

Dan’s fingers tap against the side of the glass and he looks up at Phil who’s looking at him, and he can feel their knees touching each other. Sometimes their dinners are quiet, and the only thing they’ll say to the other is how good the food is, or show them something funny on Tumblr. A lot of their nights are silences, and muffled laughs as if to not disrupt the peace between the two. This felt nice, amidst the chaos of moving apartments from one side of England to the other, this felt _normal_. Dan hadn’t felt normal in a long time. 

*

When dinner is done, Phil pays for the meal, and he squeezes Dan’s arm as he passes him. It was only an hour in the restaurant but people have gone home already, only a few wait at the bus stop; tired commuters with briefcases and high heels, earbuds in both ears staring at a pavement that’s been etched with gum from people past. 

They don’t say anything on their way back to the apartment. Dan has so many things on his mind that he wants to verbalise somehow, but it’s too much. He didn’t feel this way moving out of his parents house to his dorm, he didn’t feel this way when he moved from his dorm to the apartment with Phil. He knows that the reason why this was different because they had so much to lose. It was a big risk moving to London not knowing if it would work out, but _hoping_ it would. Dan didn’t have a lot of hope, and he tried his best to not get attached to things that could fall apart. (He couldn’t help but think that’s why Phil was so reliable.)

Today felt like a day where he had to push himself to his limit and that limit was slowly running out of time. Phil fumbles for his keys again, but it unlocks, and they climb up the stairs from hell and both have to take a minute to breathe before they go in to a mostly empty apartment. The sound of the door closing echoes throughout the rooms and Dan doesn’t bother to turn a light on. 

“It’s not Manchester.” Phil says, placing a hand on the wall, the pale moonlight their only guide to what’s going to be their lounge. They look out the window to a street that has a car drive by every now and then but it’s quiet. Phil opens the window hoping that a breeze will grace them. 

“Bathroom?” Dan places a hand on Phil’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Bathroom.” Phil closes the window and they’re already taking their clothes off on their way. They toss them somewhere on the counter and they lay on the tile, head to head. 

“ _It’s not Manchester_.” Phil repeats again with a whisper. 

“It’s not.” Dan gulps, that feeling like something was stuck in his throat, words that he’s been wanting to say but not sure how to say. The feeling that this could all be temporary because everything was so unknown, and letting go of the city that meant a lot to you. 

“We’ll learn to love it in another way.” Phil muses, like he’s known what’s been on Dan’s mind all along. 

“Yeah.” Dan says, exhaling all the fear and anxiety that he felt. “Yeah. _In another way_.” 

“Move.” Phil said, and Dan agreed. They had moved their position, trying to find another cold spot on the tile. They had moved to where they were closer, if Dan turned his head a little he was looking right at Phil. 

“We could call our bathroom home.” Phil laughed quietly. 

“We just need a couple of pillows, I reckon.” Dan said with a shrug. 

Phil had reached out to touch Dan’s face. He couldn’t see him that well, there was very limited light from the window, but he could see him enough. He traced Dan’s cheek with his thumb and Dan closed his eyes, loving how it felt to be touched. 

“Just you, me, the boxes, and beanbag.” Phil said with a kind of hope in his voice, it reminded Dan of the first time they brought up moving to London. It was over a lot of wine, and they were almost in a similar position but in their Manchester lounge on the ground. It was just a pipe dream then. Maybe they were doing something right after all. 

Dan smiled this time, shaking his head. “It’s quite the family.” 

The sound of an ambulance could be heard in the distance, and drunken laughter shared over a group of friends outside their apartment. Life continued on in London regardless if Dan felt ready for it or not. He could get used to it. He would get used to it. 

“I have one request for our next place,” Dan says, looking back at Phil. 

“What’s that?” Phil rose an eyebrow. 

“Bloody air conditioning.” 

It’s enough to make them both laugh, and Phil promises that the next place they get, they’ll have air conditioning. It wouldn’t be a long time from now, but it was something to look forward to. That’s all Dan needed.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos appreciated!
> 
> talk to me on tumblr/twitter: **@nihilismdan.**


End file.
